The pointless adventures of Rauoul and Guillaume
by Lord de Seis
Summary: Rauoul and Guillaume from Vampire Night go to seek their fortune in the world of Castlevania.


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The brief and completely pointless adventures of Rauoul and Dr. Guillaume.  
  
disclaimer: I don't own Castlevania or Vampire Night  
  
  
  
Narrator: One day Rauoul and Guillaume from Vampire Night went out to seek their fortune. ======[[[ Rauoul: Guillaume, let's go and seek our fortune in the land of some other video game! Guillaume: What do you mean, some other video game? We're real people! Rauoul: yeahhh. I've been meaning to talk to you about that.(Tugs collar) Guillaume: Did you say something? Rauoul: No. When we find our fortune we can get your weird little voice fixed! Guillaume: And find out how to drink through our noses! Rauoul: What the hell are you talking about? Why would I want to drink through my nose? Guillaume: (With Barry White voice) Because the ladys dig it. (Normal voice) I thought that was what the whole adventure was all about Rauoul: Let's just leave.  
  
Narrator: They went and told Auguste they were leaving. Rauoul: Dude, we're leaving! narrator: Suddenly Bathe' Lemy ran in. Bathe' Lemy: Dude, where's my true form? Oh wait, here it is! (Turns into true form)RAAAAR! Narrator:Rauoul, Guillaume, and Auguste fell over, Anime style!  
  
Narrator: They came to that village you're always hearing about in Castlevania but are never told the name of where they went to the retirement castle. Rauoul: Some old man, we've come to seek our fortune! How would we go about doing this? Guillaume: Yeah! What he said! Narrator:Suddenly there was a flash of blackish purple light and Lord de Seis appeared in place of the old man with Dante and Nelo Angelo from Devil May Cry beside him. Dante was in Mundus fight no. 1 Devil Trigger mode while Nelo Angelo was in that form without the helmet. Lord de Seis: You would go about doing this by going to Castlevania, and vanquishing Dracula! Dante: When do I get paid? Lord de Seis: Have a gold watch. Dante:(Admiring gold watch that appeared on his wrist) Cool! Nelo Angelo:(With Swarchzenegger accent) When do I get paid? Narrator: Lord de Seis snapped his fingers and was gone. Rauoul: You heard the dude in the stylish black armour! To the castle! Narrator: everyone in the village stopped what they were doing and gasped! Everyone in the village: GASP! Rauoul: Whaaaat? EITV: GASP!  
  
Guillaume: Whaaaat? EITV:GASP! Generic Belmont: Whaaaat? Narrator: This went on for days, weeks, months and years. Then Rauoul and Guillaume got bored and took advantage of the fact that everyone was gasping and looted every shop. They got drunk and wandered up the path to the castle. By the time they got there it had Alucard: Being a creature of chaos and all. Narrator: IT HAD Alucard: Being a creature o' chaos and all that. Guillaume: Would you shut up? This fic has room only for one annoying guy and that's me, SUCKA! Will Smith: NOD YA HEAD! Rauoul: Black suits comin! Will Smith: NOD YA HEAD LIKE THIS! Guillaume: Black suits comin! Will Smith: Wanna brawl with me, tryin to brawl with me? Rauoul: Black Guillaume: Suits Generic Belmont: Coming. Guillaume; Just out of curiosity, what is Will Smith doing here, and why are we all singing? Lord de Seis: Don't even think about answering that one.(Swirls wine in glass) Lois Griffin: It seems today, that all you see, is violence in movies and sex on tv Peter Griffin: But where are those good old family values Everyone: ON WHICH WE USED TO RELYYYYYY!!!  
  
Narrator: IT HAD become an ordinary castle. Rauoul and Guillaume went up to the castle and walked on to the drawbridge but it came up to fast, flinging them straight to the castle keep.  
  
Dracula: (To Death) I'm sorry Death, but I'm retiring. I just can't compete with the likes of Microsoft and AOL. It cost me millions sending the clock tower to that watch maker for repairs. Death: Well, we'll just give our stock to the next guys who come in here. Rauoul and Guillaume fly through the wall. Dracula: What are you doing here? Guillaume: Does it really matter? Dracula: I suppose not. Have my stock. Rauoul's eyes become dollar signs Rauoul: KA-CHING! JACKPOT!  
  
Narrator: And so, Rauoul became the owner of the universe, except for the moon, we'll explain that later, he was the richest man in the universe and while working on his taxes one day, accidentally proved that there is no god.Young generic Belmont was given ownership of the moon because Lord de Seis, in one of his rare moments of emotion, felt sorry for him. Guillaume became the most famous scientist in the world and cured all diseases but it turned out that by taking his cures you got an uncurable disease and in the dictionary there was put a picture of Guillaume next to idiot. And I was given a shiny penny. Cheapskate.  
  
The End.  
  
an: So what did you think? It took me exactly an hour to write. I timed it. I'm sad, i know. Read and review or I'll send Stryker, my pet goldfish, after you. 


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